


variace

by imaginejolls



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Face-Sitting, Kink Exploration, Naomi is not on board with Earther kinks tbh, Smut, erotic asphyxiation, feelings are involved, takes place vaguely whenever you want it to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 07:13:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21442288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginejolls/pseuds/imaginejolls
Summary: The first time James begs for her hand around his throat, Naomi refuses.
Relationships: Jim Holden/Naomi Nagata
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	variace

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't read the books, so this is just a self-indulgent little something. 
> 
> took the liberty of keeping the title in my mother tongue since the Belter Creole draws from Slavic languages as well. means "variations" as you may have figured. (actually the word variace stays the same in singular and plural, but i intended for the title to be the plural version.)

The first time James begs for her hand around his throat, Naomi refuses. She’s sitting astride his hips, naked and sweaty, and her tone warrants no further discussion. Holden’s “okay” is soft and small; it is everything he seems not to be. He offers her his hands instead to hold, and Naomi takes them in hers, fingers interlocking, and rides his dick until she’s trembling. 

Jim is fast asleep beside her, but Naomi’s mind is reeling. It’s not that she believes she could hurt him. It’s the fact that the man she loves just asked her to take away his oxygen. Naomi can’t quite wrap her head around it. Air is so precious in the Belt, but then again, James is no Belter and he wouldn’t understand. These Earthers… Sleep finally tugs at her and Naomi succumbs to it with relief. 

“I’m sorry,” he says instead of good morning. His eyes have this sadness to them that just gets deeper and deeper with every passing week. 

Naomi lets her fingers run across the curve of his cheek. “It’s alright,” she says and means it. 

“It was kinda stupid.” 

His smile is self-deprecating and Naomi leans in to kiss it off his lips. The creases in Jim’s forehead lessen when they come apart. Naomi smooths them out further with her fingertips. 

“How does it feel?” she asks in a whisper. 

“Good. Makes me feel like I’m floating in zero-G and everything is more intense, more… Just more, somehow.”

Then it occurs to her. Jim trusts her so unconditionally that he’s willing to ask this of her. 

“I could have handled that better,” she muses. 

Jim’s lips quirk up into a smile. “I think it went well afterward.” 

“Oh, you would.” 

There’s laughter in their next kiss. Then his hand terminal lights up, and James groans. 

“Duty calls,” he says, his annoyance clear. 

“Right behind you, Captain.” 

The next time he doesn’t ask. It’s weeks later and Naomi has thought about it a lot. The possibility of it. And whether she’d like to. James is underneath her again, completely at her mercy, and Naomi figures, why not? The worst thing that can happen is that she hates it. 

“Is this okay?” she asks as she puts her hand to his throat without applying any pressure. 

She feels him swallow underneath her palm. 

“Yeah.” James takes a shuddering breath. “Just mind the windpipe.”

Naomi has done her research but she nods anyway. She stares at her hand around his neck, brown skin on pale, her hand small in comparison with his everything. She feels Jim put his warm, kind, big hands on her hips, his thumbs stroking her skin in reassurance. 

“You don’t have to do this,” he says. His eyes are two black pools of infinity.

Naomi purses her lips. All it would take is a couple of seconds and some pressure between her thumb and her forefinger. It would be so easy. It _should be_ so easy. And yet, Naomi feels more nervous than she was before taking her first step into the big empty. She watches her hand, still, James’s life hidden in the palm of it. There’s something dreadful about it.

A minute passes. Naomi withdraws her hand. It trails down James’s chest and stops right above his heart. He takes it in his own hand, raises it up again, further, until he can kiss Naomi’s knuckles. 

“It’s okay,” he murmurs into her skin. 

Jim rolls them over so that she’s underneath him, his weight familiar and welcome on top of her. He nudges her leg up until her thigh is aligned with his ribs and sinks into her. He fucks her like this, gentle and slow, peppering kisses everywhere he can reach. 

Third time's the charm, or so the saying goes. James is on top of her, safe and solid, and his eyes are dark and heavy-lidded with pleasure. Naomi offers him an open palm. Jim lets himself fall into it, drawing in a shaky breath. His heartbeat is hammering steadily into the pads of her thumb and index finger; his dick twitches where it lies in the valley between her hip and her thigh.

Naomi takes her hand away soon. James just sinks lower until his lips are on hers, nudging them apart gently so that he can kiss her deep and dirty.

"I know a better way to take your breath away," she says when he comes up for air. 

With a knowing smirk, he says: "Show me." 

She pulls him down again, kissing him, her hand lost in his space-black hair. When she pushes on his shoulder, he rolls them over readily. He’s so good at this; so good for her. Naomi looks down into his face and flashes him a dangerous smile. The anticipation builds. She inches up his body until her knees rest on either side of Jim’s head, his arms weighing down her ankles. She has to bend her head slightly to fit in the shallow space of the bunk. 

James’s eyes lock onto hers as he surges up to meet her, wet and waiting, and Naomi lets out a sigh. She grinds on his tongue, hands braced on the wall for leverage. He takes it so well… And Naomi has so much to offer, so much of herself to give him like this, on top of him and in control. Naomi gives and James takes. He takes her hips in his hands, takes her hunger in his mouth, takes her pleasure and makes it his. 

It’s a brief affair. Naomi comes apart on top of him, shuddering, and James catches her in his strong arms and holds her down to him. Her breath tickles his collarbone. Jim’s erection insistently poking her in the abdomen reminds Naomi of the things yet to come. She reaches up and guides James into a kiss. She shifts on top of him until she can press her cunt against his dick, coating it in her arousal, and then sink down on it. Her maneuver knocks the air out of James’s lungs. Naomi smiles, pleased with herself, and lets herself be pulled down for another kiss.

Naomi’s bent legs bracket James’s hips, and he holds her close to his chest as he fucks into her. She seeks purchase next to his head so that she can move against his thrusts. It doesn’t seem so long before he’s coming inside of her. James pulls out of her slowly and Naomi can feel his cum drip out of herself. She’s not sure if that’s hot or a little gross. Maybe both. Anyway, Jim gets up to fetch a wet cloth for them both to clean up. He slips back into bed, cuddling close, his nose nuzzling the line of Naomi’s shoulder. She lets herself melt into his embrace, riding out the afterglow and relishing every second they can spend like this. Sleep overcomes her unexpectedly and Naomi doesn’t have time to fight it. 

James never asks for her hand on his throat again. Instead, he offers Naomi his mouth to be used however she deems fit. Naomi can’t complain.


End file.
